Mrs. Tidyman

Sicker Than A Dog

2012-03-02T10:05:00.004-06:00

Mr. T and Annie are playing rope in the picture below.

Mr. T is sicker than a dog in this picture.

Come to think of it, what does it mean to be "sicker than a dog"?

What do sick dogs look like?

Dogs who are lethargic and lay around a lot?

In that case, Annie is sick all the time!

Case and point.

See how lethargic she looks in the picture below.

She's about ready to keel over!

Good ol' Annie...

Even on death's door, she's still able to pull off a perfect 1st position.

All those ballet classes really paid off.

Here's a picture of her playing with her rope.

As you can see, she is mostly just staring at it.

However, a brief analysis of her body language reveals her feet are facing forward,

meaning she is fully engaged in the thought of perhaps someday playing with her rope.

I'm pretty sure she decided to just lay down and take another nap.

Can you blame her?

She is sick, after all.

Poor Annie.

Maybe after a trip to the groomer she'll feel better.

The Antique Store

2012-03-01T15:39:00.002-06:00

Meet Jordanne.

Although she is super busy and important, she made the trek all the way to small town Nebraska to see us.

We love Jordanne.

Sometimes we call her JB.

And sometimes we call her JO-BO.

And sometimes we call her Queen JEE-OHH-DIN.

I'm not sure why.

While she was here, we went to this cool Antique Store downtown. It's one of those stores that goes on and on and on. I've been before, but never have I noticed the crazy amount of random salt and pepper shakers they have.

Is that a Nebraska thing?

Here's how I rate the following:

Old People Faces = Ugliest

(and those creepy babies in the background certainly don't help)

Indians = Most Historical

Camel = Funniest


Severed Feet = Without A Doubt The Absolute Grossest Thing I Have Ever Seen And I Think I Might Gag At The Thought Of Putting This Anywhere Near A Place Where Food Is Being Consumed

Toilets = 2nd Grossest

Cow = Cheesiest

Sweepers = Most Random

Cat and Dog = Most Vintage

Kids With Snowballs On Their Laps/Pregnant Leprechauns = Most "What Is That Supposed To Be?"

Fish = Best Display of Big Lips

Giraffes = Tie between Most Childlike and Most Over-sized

(those things could hold a ton of salt and pepper)

Lemons and Juicers = Jordanne's Favorite

Happy Dancing Roosters = My Favorite

We actually almost got locked in the Antique Store. They started turning the lights off on us because they didn't realize we were in the basement. It was extra creepy because they had all of those antique dolls down around and I'm pretty sure their eyes started blinking on their own, so we were outta there! By the time we made it upstairs, all the lights were turned off and the doors were locked in such a way that you had to have a key to get out. This one girl came out and we tried to explain to her what happened, but she looked at us like we had six heads and was probably thinking, "What are those girls doing here? Can't they see we're closed?" And we were thinking, "Hello, we were already IN here and we just want to get OUT!" Which is what we eventually did, after the 5 minute long stare down/explanation we had with the employee.

Same thing almost happened at JC Penny's the following day.

It was a full weekend.

Then Jordanne went back to her "normal" life in the city. A life that doesn't include salt and pepper shakers shaped like toilets. Thanks again for coming, JB!

Shiver Me Timbers

2012-02-29T14:11:00.002-06:00

Below is a picture of Mr. T dressed up like a pirate.

I wrote about it here.

I had the setting wrong on the camera, so it's actually a video that's .00341 seconds long.

His pirate costume is the product of two minds, two closets, and a lot of imagination.

This is not my first encounter of Mr. T dressed like a pirate. For my 30th birthday, Mr. T threw me a "Pirates and Princesses" themed surprise party. My former roomies dressed me up in a hot pink boa and princess crown and paraded me around the Kansas City Plaza. I was given the assignment to ask random people, "What's the key to a successful relationship?"

Really the only response I remember is this one guy who said, "It's really important in relationships to save yourself for marriage." I thought, "Duh, we've all heard that a zillion times!" But my former roomie, Melissa, spent the next 20 minutes repeating over and over, "Wow, that is REALLY good advice," like it was the first time she had pondered the idea of abstinence. She would say it didn't happen like that at all, and she's totally right, but that's how I like to remember it. It's more entertaining.

Below is a picture of them leading me to the party blindfolded. Melissa is on the left in the black shirt. On the right is Daniella, our friend from Germany who was living with us at the time. Mr. T is in the background in full pirate attire.

Here's the dessert table, which was one of two food tables at the party. My friends and Mr. T did a great job pulling it all together. The party was at Paul and Tiffany Mills' house. They are the charming couple who set us up and we will aways be grateful!

Ahhh, yes...and here we are. He was dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride. If you have not yet had the chance to see the Princess Bride/memorize all the lines/quote them on a daily basis, you are missing out.

Right before my birthday I had made up my mind that we were breaking up! I called my mom in tears and was really upset because Mr. T had me move a (literal) ton of rocks around the landscaping of his house in the hot August heat and I had just returned from a mission trip to Colombia where I moved rocks and was NOT HAPPY about moving MORE rocks.

My mom knew about the surprise party and felt bad that Mr. T had gone to so much work, so she said, "Now honey, I think you just need to give it a couple more weeks. You always end these things too soon. Just see how you feel in a few more weeks."

I thought, "Are you serious?" But I agreed. And in a couple more weeks I wasn't so mad about the rocks and the sight of him in that pirate costume kind of made me "shiver me timbers", so we stuck it out.

It was the birthday party that saved our relationship and now, just a short time later, we're picking out pirate costumes together!

Weekend Review

2012-02-28T14:57:00.004-06:00

My former roomie, Jordanne, came to visit this weekend.

She didn't want to leave, but we made her. She was on her hands and knees begging to stay a few more days. We reminded her that she had several meetings to attend and she needed to return her roommate's car and she eventually caved and decided to go.

Come to think of it, perhaps it was the other way around.

Later on I'll post a few pictures of the weekend and some funny stories. We had a great time laughing, eating, eating some more and then laughing at how much we were eating. We also went to WalMart three times.

In other news, Mr. T is very sick.
Truly.
I've never seen him so sick.
There was one point his sinus infection was causing him a lot of pain and for some reason his face got really, really red, so he went to put on some lotion and accidentally rubbed a bunch in his eye, causing his eye to also be really, really red and I felt so sorry for him.

Unfortunately, he doesn't complain.
Why is that unfortunate, you ask?
Well, it's going to make it pretty bad for me later on when I catch his cold, because I complain A LOT! When I don't feel well, most of my time is spent walking around with my hand on my forehead and, in my most pathetic voice, asking anyone in sight if I have a fever.
Oddly enough, the same thing happens if I eat too much.

In other, other news, I saw this today:

Until tomorrow,
Mrs. Tidyman

This Weekend

2012-02-24T12:06:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, Mom came!
That was awesome!

This weekend...
Jordanne is coming!
Jordanne is coming!

And we're gonna paint the town red.

I'm talkin' cow tippin', spittin' sunflower seeds off the top-a-the water tower, a trip down to the BINGO hall...

She's never gonna wanna leave!

Church Camp

2012-02-23T15:28:00.001-06:00

Before I became Mrs. Tidyman, I worked with kids at a church in Kansas City.

In the summer, we went to church camp at CYOKAMO in small town Missouri.

It was always a ton of fun/work.

And it was the only time of year when you could eat those yummy pizza rectangles.

You know, like the ones you get in school cafeterias.

Ahhh, so many fun memories...

Like that one little kid who came to camp, completely decked out and taking seriously his mom's "Saftey First" speech. He had a hat, sunscreen, sunglasses, flashlight and bug spray near him at all times. If he would get an itch in his arm, he would hold the bug spray centimeters from his skin and spray it directly on his itch. So priceless.

Oh, and then there was that time these two camp deans, who shall remain nameless, thought it would be fun to get a new toilet, fill it with Mountain Dew and Baby Ruth candy bars and make people bob for the Baby Ruth's. I thought it was pretty funny, until they called me up to be a competitor. Not only is it disgusting, it's really hard to do. First of all, you can't see anything because your head is in a toilet bowl filled with pop, and you certainly can't breath, and all you can think about is how your bum is sticking up in the air in front of everyone and how you should have worn longer shorts and how the people who went before you probably left tons of spit and snot in the liquid your face is currently in, and how you will never forgive the two deans as long as you live!!!

On a different note, below are some pictures of kids getting baptized at the end of the week.

Check out that muscle on my arm! Those are the kind of muscles you get from baptizing kids all summer!

My arms don't look like that anymore. I really need to start baptizing again. If you know of anyone who can rattle off the 5 Finger Gospel and has a repentant heart, send 'em my way. Just kidding. I can just do some Jillian Michaels or something.

Lessons Learned From Darchelle Webster

2012-02-22T12:12:00.005-06:00

I have so many stories about my previous roommate, Darci. I think God brought us together as roommates because he has a sense of humor and he knew it would be good for a laugh.

Oh, where to begin...

Well, there was that one time we snuck into the pool at our apartment after hours. It's surrounded by this iron rod fence and we had to use a nearby trashcan to scale it, all the while praying with intensity that we wouldn't impale ourselves in the process. We eventually made it over. I can't remember why we decided to sneak into the pool in the first place. Maybe we had just returned from a late night run (back when we used to exercise) and we needed to cool down, or maybe we were hyped up on sugar, or maybe we were just ding-bats! Either way, a swimmin' we went. That is until the Pool Policeman came over and shined a flashlight in our eyes.

Pool Policeman - "Swimming hours are over ladies."
Darci (in her most airhead voice) - "Oh, we didn't realize the pool was closed..."
Me (thinking) - "DARCI, are you crazy! Of course we realized it! That's why we had to scale the fence, REMEMBER!"

Lesson Learned: Iron rod fences are a lot harder to scale when you're drenched in wet clothes.

Then there was that one time we tried to laminate the pancake. We both worked at the same church and there was a laminator there. I don't even know why the thought crossed our minds. It's so completely random. Nevertheless, we went downstairs to laminate it and I think it would have worked except that our pancake was filled with fruit, which tends to make it smear more. In the midst of struggling with our little experiment, the Preschool supervisor, Miss Patty, came in. I thought, "Oh boy, we're gonna get it now!" But she was totally cool about it! She said, "Girls, if you're gonna laminate a pancake, you need to do it THIS way." She knows a lot about the laminator machine. (Sometime I'll write a tutorial on how to laminate pancakes.) Anyway, it ended up being one LONG mess that looked like laminated vomit. We hung it on this guy named Jamie's door. We were always giving Jamie cool stuff like that.

Lesson Learned: If you're going to laminate a pancake, leave the fruit OUT!

And I can't forget that one time she tried to make homemade soup with our friend Alex. I was S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G and it was taking F.O.R.E.V.E.R! Seriously! My belly was swollen and flies were buzzing around my head. I was SO hungry. So they were finally on the last step of blending it up in the blender, but they didn't get the lid on tight so tomato soup went all over the kitchen. Walls, counters, floor, ceiling, everywhere. "Forget this!" I thought and went out to get a hamburger.

Lesson Learned: Never make homemade tomato soup.

Looking back, I think about how lots of 25 year olds were married with kids and had mortgages and stuff. Not us. I'm not sure what we were reliving, but it was something awesome. And I wouldn't change a thing!

Darci, Calvin (Travis' brother), Me, Travis (Darci's husband), Kylee (Alex's sister)

We dressed up as Hunters and Bears for Halloween and went swing dancing.

It was super hot in all those clothes, but we won the competition so it was worth it.

Hide and Seek

2012-02-21T11:42:00.001-06:00

Mr. T loves this video. It practically gives him the giggles. He came home saying, "I want a lamb!"

You'll see Bee, the confused little lamb, who hears her name but can't find the source. It's so cute. I feel like we could name a future child after this sweet, little, dumb lamb.

Our dog, Annie, does something similar to this. She is really good at playing hide and seek. Most of the time all Annie wants is:

1. Attention

2. Sleep

3. Dog treats

4. Attention

5. To play with her rope

6. Attention, attention, attention

She is not fond of walks or anything that requires much effort. She will play with her rope or chew on my duvet cover. And she will sometimes play hide and seek if Her Majesty deems it worth her time. Other than that, she's not a big fan of exercise.

If you read blogs, you'll often see people write tutorials about how to do cool craft things and stuff. I don't really do cool craft things, but I do play hide and seek with my dog sometimes. In an effort to join the ranks of high class bloggers, I'm going to start writing tutorials as well.

Playing Hide and Seek With Your Dog

A Tutorial Describing the Obvious by Mrs. Tidyman

1. Choose a doorway to hide in.

2. Allow dog to inch down the hallway looking for you, obviously with a slight sense of fear and trepidation.

3. When the dog has come to your hiding spot, jump out and say, "BOO!"
4. Laugh while the dog is running away.
5. Quickly choose another doorway to hide in.
6. Repeat steps 2 thru 6.

Random Smattering of Events

2012-02-20T16:37:00.004-06:00

My Mom came up this weekend and Mr. T and I had a lovely time with her.
She is so easy to be around. Peaceful, helpful, loving and beautiful.

On Saturday afternoon we went to a pirate themed birthday party. Mr. T went in costume. I have a picture that I'll try to post later this week.

On Saturday night we had dinner guests over, for a total of 8 people in our home. I think it's the biggest dinner party we've had, thus far, and it was a ton of fun. Mr. T's parents came, along with the Nelsons.
Have I ever introduced you to Andy Nelson?
Someday I will. You'll be very happy to meet him.

Today has been pretty uneventful, except for little pockets of joy.

Mr. T stopped by my office twice.
Once to bring me a snack and once to eat lunch with me.
He is a really, really, really good husband. Really, really, really good.

I posted this picture on face book today. It's when we were in India about this time last year.

Our time in India was the most challenging of our whole relationship. Sometimes I reflect on it and am amazed at how I almost let him go.
I'm so thankful it worked out.
That man is a gift to me everyday.

Anyway, in this picture I'm holding a sign that says, "ALOO METHI", which is some kind of potato dish in India. But to me it sounds like something a pirate would say, like "ELLO MATIE". Funny, right?

This picture has so much meaning because Mr. T and I parted ways in India and I was sure it was over, but I wasn't sure I wanted it to be over. So when he flew back from India I went to pick him up from the airport and he walked out of the terminal to see me holding a sign that said, "ALOO METHI". Then he smiled. And I smiled. And it helped.

What else happened today...
Not much, except a couple of ladies were leaving their Bible Study just now and one was telling the others a story.

"...and wouldn't you know it, I looked down and saw a $5 bill lying in the water."
Other ladies gasp.

"...and I thought, that can't be real, but I bent down and picked it up and it WAS real!"
Other ladies chuckle.

"So I dabbed it off and rolled it up in a Kleenex."
Other ladies respond appropriately with coos and congratulations.

At the same time, an older man that I've never seen before walked briskly through the door with an orange and a grapefruit. (Not an everyday occurrence at the church where I work.)

"Hello," I said.
"Do you need any fruit?" he said.
"Fruit? No, probably not," I replied, certainly intrigued.
"I'd say you need about 10 cases," he said, ignoring me, taking out a huge pocket knife and beginning to cut into a grapefruit so I could see first hand how irresistible it was.
I quickly re-stated, "No, I don't really need any fruit. If you can come back tomorrow maybe some of the other guys would like to buy some."
"Not gonna be here tomorrow. Last year you guys bought 4 cases from me."
Shrugging my shoulders, "Well, your best bet is that group of ladies walking out the door."

And off he went.
I'm afraid he left disappointed because they didn't want to buy any fruit either.

And that is the conclusion of a random smattering of events. Thank you for reading.

With love,
Mrs. Tidyman

When Helping Hurts

2012-02-17T12:48:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading "When Helping Hurts" by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert and I highly recommend it!

If you:

1) are on church staff
2) volunteer on a missions team
3) have ever wondered about how to best help the poor
4) have ever wondered if you should give money to beggars on the street
5) are breathing

then you should read this book.

Is it scripture?
No.

Will it answer ALL your questions?
No, but it will get you thinking about things perhaps in a new way.

For a long time I have wanted to help people, but felt discouraged because I often didn't feel like I was actually helping. Instead, I usually felt like I'm putting a band-aid on an infected wound before taking time to clean out the infection.

I believe there is a wrong way to "help" and good intentions are not always enough. However, I must say that although I have done many things wrong in an effort to help others, I didn't walk away from this book feeling like the scum of the earth. I feel more hopeful and confident that, even though I have a lot to learn, I can begin to apply these concepts to assist people in an effective way. It's empowering.

So many efforts made to help the less fortunate end up creating more long-term problems. This book does a great job of laying the ground work for figuring out what we're doing right and wrong in our efforts and pointing us to further resources that will assist us in being more effective.

Even as I type this I feel like I'm not doing the book justice.

Trust me, it's good.
Certainly if you are in any place of influence, please read it and begin to think how it can be applied to your efforts.

Sleep Walking, Pillow Talking, Nose Smashing

2012-02-16T14:27:00.001-06:00

You know the place between waking and dreams?

That's the venue for my next short story.

Last night, Mr. T and I must have both been half asleep when I felt a hand reach across my face and smash my nose.

I groaned out a sleepy "Ow," to which he replied, "Sorry Mom."

"Sorry Mom," I laughed and then fell back asleep.

This morning I asked if he remembered saying "Sorry Mom" to me.

He said he did remember and I told him that he was weird.

To which he replied, "Well I do refer to you as Mom to Annie."

Placing Bets

2012-02-15T12:44:00.001-06:00

The other day I placed a bet with Mr. T.

NOT a wise move.

Mostly because I bet our whole tax return on some miscellaneous factoid about Mr. Rogers and lost big time.

The following Princess Bride quote came to mind. It's when the Man in Black is arguing with Vizinni about which glass has the poison in it:

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

That's what it's like to place a bet with Mr. T.

It's like going "against a Sicilian with death is on the line!"

He knows EVERYTHING!

Me: "Mr. Rogers was in the military."

Mr. T: "No he wasn't. That's just a rumor."

Me: "Yes he was. I heard it from a Pastor. It's gotta be true. He killed a bunch of people or something, then felt bad and said he would never be like that again, so he started wearing sweaters and talking to puppets and stuff."

Mr. T: "Seriously, it's just a rumor. Look it up on Snopes."

Me: "Um, hello! It's pronounced Snoooopes!"

Mr. T: "No. It's actually pronounced Snopes."

Dang-nabit!
Wrong twice in a row!

But I beat him in a game of Monopoly Deal yesterday that was "for all the marbles", so I guess I feel better now.

Pop Quiz

2012-02-09T12:02:00.001-06:00

Time to test your movie trivia.
Leave a comment if you know what movies these quotes come from...without researching the source online!
I will be very, very, very impressed if someone can get all of these without cheating.

1. "The dishes are DONE, man."

2. "Get out of my facial!"

3. "Americus? What kind of a name is Americus?"

4. "Lactose intoleraaaaaaaaaaaance."

5. "Ow! Son of a Nutcracker!"

6. "You don't need scores of suitors. Only one, if he's the right one."

7. "Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!"

8. "Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'"

9. "Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from shell shock."

10. "If she'd 'ave kept on goin' down that way she'd 'ave gone straight to that castle."

Good luck!

Mr. T Tidbits

2012-02-08T14:13:00.001-06:00

I've been collecting these little tidbits to share with you.

Lunch with Keith
We had lunch the other day with Keith, a lovely gentleman who resides more on the "vintage" side of life. I'm soft spoken, meaning he can't hear a darn thing I'm saying. Even Jeff has to talk really loud, which is something I hate to do, especially in public places like restaurants. I don't want people hearing what I'm saying. Sometime during the conversation, Mr. T was talking about this big Navy ship thing we toured on our honeymoon. A guy from the table behind us pipes up and shouts out, "they have one of those down in Texas too!" And our loud conversation became even louder to include strangers from around the restaurant. I love small town life.

Anyway, back to Keith. His wife passed away last year. Had she lived, they would have celebrated their 60th Anniversary. "You get pretty used to having a person around after 60 years," Keith says.

I can't imagine.

He told us that, in her last days, his wife said she regretted not teaching him to cook so that he could take care of himself after she's gone. I thought good and hard about that and suggested to Mr. T the other day that it's important to me that he's not in the same boat sometime down the line. We should be proactive, meaning he should start cooking at least one meal a week. He did not agree.

His reply - "If you want me to start cooking, that's fine, but I've been living on my own for the last 20 years, eating out of cans and doing just fine." Drat! I thought for sure I could get him with that one. It's a selfish suggestion, but one that's masked with undertones of love and care. I didn't think he would see through it so fast!

Monopoly Deal
We played a couple of days ago. I won 5 games in a row (maybe 4)!!!! Mr. T commented on how I was whistling and singing and floating on cloud nine, which is a sharp contrast to the ugliness that appears when I lose a game. I do believe I am improving my attitude. I lost about 3 games the following day and managed to not throw a temper tantrum. I reigned in my emotions and calmly/repeatedly reminded Mr. T that "it's pretty easy to win when you draw ALL the good cards."

Steel Magnolias
We watched it the other day. Probably the one and only time we'll ever watch it together. It's my favorite movie. Steel Magnolias has it all - laughter, tears, quotable lines and everything in between. I kept nudging Mr. T to let him know that a funny line was coming up. I nudged him a lot because there are a lot of funny lines. I noticed he was not laughing as often or as loud as I was. To be honest, he was bored. And I guess that's okay because I don't think it's a good idea for my manly man's favorite movie to be Steel Magnolias.

He commented the following day that, "I was bored for the first 90% of it, until you started crying like that after Julia Roberts died. I've never seen you cry that hard." Then, "the movie was all talk. Just a bunch of women sitting around a beauty shop talking. There weren't even any action parts." I told him that there was that one part where Drum used a bow and arrow to shot the birds out of the tree. Plus, you don't need action when you have great lines like, "Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket" and "Annelle, cool down. I'm gonna have to turn the hose on you."

He continued by saying, "It doesn't even have a plot. What's the plot? Who's the main character? Who's the heroine? What's the conflict?" To which I replied, "Who is the hero of Gladiator?" (Mr. T's favorite movie, as of late.)

Mr. T - "Uh, the Gladiator."
Me - "Oh. Well, what's the conflict?"
Mr. T - "He's gotta fight lions and people."
Me - "Well, Shelby has to fight diabetes in Steel Magnolias!"

BAM! End of conversation.

Not because I won.

Just because I think he gave up.

Either way, I still love Steel Magnolias.

May I Direct Your Attention To...

2012-02-06T17:27:00.000-06:00

This post.

Darci sent this to me today.

Regarding birthdays, I feel the same way.

The "Not So Sweet" Sugar Fast

2012-02-03T10:30:00.002-06:00

My sugar fast...it's going okay.
That is, if you define "okay" as eating a cinnamon roll and drinking a whole coke.
But I have excuses for both.
Yesterday, I was invited to eat lunch at St. Pat's, our town's Catholic school.
They were serving cinnamon rolls and chili.
I really wanted to trade my cinnamon roll for my friend's celery sticks, but she wasn't havin' it.
She selfishly wanted her celery sticks all to herself, leaving me with a giant cinnamon roll that I had to eat because I didn't want to appear ungrateful.
I HAD to!

Also, I got this ebook called, "I Quit Sugar" by Sarah Wilson. It's overpriced, but the info is good. She talks about quitting sugar, basically for good, and talks you through how to do that. She doesn't suggest quitting cold turkey, but backing off sugar during the first week. So that's what I'm doing...simply backing off. Also, before I made this decision to quit sugar, I really wanted a cinnamon roll and a coke, but I didn't have a chance to consume the beloved treats before "No Sugar Launch Day". The thought of both were constantly on my mind. I didn't have any other choice but to eat/drink the desired items and now that I have, I can move on.

Except, I wouldn't mind eating one more Reese's Peanut Butter cup.
And some lovely person left me a GIANT chocolate and peanut butter donut on my desk this morning and I would be rude to not eat any of it.
Plus, Sarah Wilson says that after you're off sugar for a while, you loose the taste for it and sugary things that tasted good before no longer taste good and I want to eat all the sugar things NOW while they still taste yummy.

All this is to say, I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to sugar and it's a good thing I'm doing this 8 week experiment to see if I can break its hold over my life.

But before that, I'm going to eat some of this donut.
Well, probably all of it.

Musings, Made Public

2012-02-02T10:05:00.003-06:00

The following is an email exchange between The Highly Esteemed Brooke Grigg and I that I found entertaining.

From Brooke:
Keep in mind: I am not a doctor; so, the following observations will need to be confirmed through a physical exam. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems as if you have a sudden case of dyslexia and hallucinations/delusions. While perusing through the internet highway, I clicked on your blog which always enlightens my day.

Imagine my surprise when I read the heading, "You Asked for Pictures" and discovered there was not a picture. Below the picture box is a lovely description of the phantom photo. This has led me to the conclusion that you hallucinated, i.e, saw something that was not there or had a delusion (delusinated?!) and really believe the picture is there. Honey, it's not. The dyslexia diagnosis may come as a shock but it's right there in numerical disorder: 1.2.2012. It's February. The month of hearts and roses and dates starting with the number 2.

You are really young to have such a diagnosis, so I do understand if you do not wish to speak of this publicly. I can keep a secret...............

My Reply:
Dear Not Dr. Brooke,

Thank you for your timely note. All things were not, in fact, as they seemed. The diagnosis of hallucinations/delusions/delusinations was incorrect. The syptoms, upon further relection, revealed a rare case of ignorance as the picture was present at time of posting and, for reasons unknown, did not remain. Prescriptions have been ordered, filled and taken, therefore, it is my belief that the problem is now corrected. I trust that you will find the post amusing and ask that you do not delay your gratification a moment longer and view it post haste.

Secondly, I respectfully ask that you please review a second time your inquiry regarding the date. It would seem that in this post, and in all posts prior and following, the date is listed as such: Day/Month/Year, making the date 1.2.12 correct. You are highly respected in this field and I wish to assure you that this minor oversight will in no way cast a shadow on your good name.

Thank you once again.

Best regards,
Not Dr. Mrs. Tidyman

You Asked For Pictures

2012-02-01T17:20:00.002-06:00

Here is a picture that Mr. T took of Annie and me last weekend while we were strolling through the garden outside our house.

Annie recently had her hair fixed and I just picked up my favorite dresses from the cleaners.

I think Mr. T captured the light really well in this shot.

Fat Tuesday

2012-01-31T17:13:00.002-06:00

I'm going off sugar.

At least for a month.

Starting tomorrow.

So today is Fat Tuesday.

Translation - eat all the sugar you possibly can.

I'll let you know how it's going.

Currently...

2012-01-30T10:03:00.001-06:00

I'm coping Jordanne today. She wrote the following on her blog.

"As it goes, all things pinterest seem to be taking over the internet. I did see this little picture on someone else's blog and thought it a great idea for a short post. Of course, she got it from pinterest. You should consider doing it on your blog too! Or comment below and type in your responses!"

Here's mine.

Currently...

1. Listening: to the hum of the computer and myself typing
2. Eating: cucumbers and hummus for breakfast, nope - not preggo, I just eat weird things

3. Drinking: coffee

4. Wearing: jeans, 3/4 sleeve sweater and springtime shoes

5. Feeling: a little chilly because the space heater hasn't warmed up yet and because I'm wearing springtime shoes / thankful for coffee

6. Weather: crisp and sunny

7. Wanting: my husband to have a good day

8. Needing: nothing

9. Thinking: I hope my parents / family / friends are doing well / Happy Birthday yesterday to Darci

10. Enjoying: blogging / cucumbers and hummus / coffee / space heaters

Now, what about you? Leave a comment with your update!

Foster Care

2012-01-27T12:11:00.000-06:00

Mr. T and I are praying about becoming foster parents. We spoke to a lovely couple from our church last night who have done foster care for the past 9 years. They have a cutie little tyke that they've had since he was a baby and plan to adopt out of foster care next month.

Now, Mr. T is wonderful with children and kids like him right away. Especially this little tyke who prefers to hang out with his fellow chums, as opposed to lame girls. So they played and played as we talked and talked and then it came time for dessert!

Little tyke went into his high chair and got a brownie and some ice cream. Before we knew it, the brownie was smeared all over his clothes and all through his hair. Then he played with Mr. T and got some brownie on his nice pants.

This was not a bad thing.

It was a very NORMAL thing.

We know this.

But this very, very, very SMALL thing was a BIG reality check to what we're considering. Until then, it wasn't so apparent what a stark contrast the peaceful and almost surreal lives we currently led would be to the other life involving brownies in the hair, on our clothes and everywhere.

I'm so thankful for the time spent with this precious family! We had a lot of our questions answered and we were able to obtain a more realistic mindset regarding foster care. Both of which will help us as we continue to pray about it and see if this is an idea God grows or if he redirects us. Either way, we hope to glorify him where ever he leads.

Kisses From Katie

2012-01-26T17:40:00.001-06:00

To find out more, visit www.amazima.org.

This Makes Me Smile

2012-01-25T10:10:00.001-06:00

And...

"I like smiling; smiling's my favorite!" -Buddy the Elf

He's So Proud of His Prize

2012-01-24T13:30:00.003-06:00

See this sweet couple?

There were married last summer.

Mr. T and I decided to make the trek to Colorado to attend their wedding.
It worked out well because the wedding happened to fall on the same weekend as a doctor's appointment I had in Colorado...
then the wedding...
then onto see some friends in Estes Park.

So, with the car loaded we began our 4.5 hour journey towards the mountains.

Our first stop, see the doctor.
Check.
I think we made it in time, but I'm not sure. I'm actually NEVER on time. Many of you know this.
It's my one flaw.

Post doctors office, we had some time to kill so we went to Target. Ahhhh - if you live by a Target you don't know how lucky you are. Living without a Target is like living in Majority World Africa with no running water, electricity, shelter, etc. It's like being on a mission trip. A mission trip in a land where WalMart is the only place to shop. I plan to send out support letters and weekly prayer updates so you can support us as we "do without" for the sake of the gospel. Just kidding. It's a fine place to live and we have MORE than enough. I still might send out support letters though.

Well, we thought we had a lot of time so we lingered in Target too long and forgot to take into account the Denver traffic. By the time we left to go to the wedding, we realized that we were going to be LATE! Being late to weddings and funerals is a big time no-no! Even I know this.

We drove through Denver like CRAZY PEOPLE! I'm serious. I was nauseous from all the fast starts and sudden stops and my life flashed before my eyes numerous times and it was not pleasant and I was not having fun. To add to the chaos, we were running out of gas, so we had to pull over to "refuel" and change clothes in the SMALLEST gas station bathroom I have ever seen.

Hop back in the car, drive super fast up, up, up the mountain, using every sense we have, excluding common sense, to help us get to our destination. We found the road we needed, grimaced as we accidentally drove right past it, turned around and made a mad dash down the driveway to approach the wedding ceremony - five minutes late!

But ooh - what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a vacant/abandoned/ghost town of a wedding site. Not a person to be seen. So I pulled out my cute little invitation and said, "Huh, the wedding is on the twentieth, not the twelfth. We're not five minutes late. We're eight days early."

And that's the exact moment Mr. T realized what a prize he had married. Boy was he proud of his choice. A lovely girl who loves the Lord and cares for people, but lo and behold - she can't read!

"I'm sorry I can't read good," I said sheepishly.

"That's okay honey. Let's go get something to eat."

I was hungry for Italian and saw a little Italian Mom and Pop restaurant.

"Ohhh, that looks good. Peen-OOOH-CHEE-ohs," I said.

"Pinocchio's," Mr. T replied, (as in the little wooden puppet with the nose that grows).

It was not a good reading day for me.

Broccoli and Cheddar-Stuffed Potato Skins with Avocado Cream on the Food Network

2012-01-23T12:17:00.000-06:00

I made this yesterday. It's slightly time consuming, but not difficult and totally yum!

Broccoli and Cheddar-Stuffed Potato Skins with Avocado Cream on the Food Network

There's also a video here.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food-network-full-episodes/videos/index.html

Healthy Appetite / Happy Hour

We'll Take A Break From Our Normally Scheduled Programming To Bring You

2012-01-19T12:37:00.001-06:00

Ever read it?

If not, you are TOTALLY missing out.

One of the funniest - Laugh. Out. Loud. - funniest books I've ever read!

I LOL'd with almost every page turn.

It was recommended by the Highly Esteemed Brooke Grigg who reads like a book a night, so you really pay attention when she says a book is good.

Plus, it only takes about an hour to read - for normal people, that is. A little longer for me because I read slow. Not because I'm dim-witted or anything like that. Just because I take time to stop and IMAGINE what I just read.

My former roomies, Jordanne and Melissa would make fun of me relentlessly for this by looking at a book then staring doopily into space and saying, "who am I?" The other would laugh and say, "you're Patty, i-maaaaaa-gin-ing." Melissa would then point out the fact that she, "imagines WHILE she's reading."

To each his own, I say.

So, I went to the library to check out the book but I forgot who wrote it so I figured I could just scan the rows of books until I found it. I found the books labeled, "Young Adult Series." Not there.

Then I asked this group of girls, "hey, do you know who wrote 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid'."

"I think it's over here," one girl said, as she led me around the corner to a different row of books. "These books are for, like, 10 year olds."

"Oh, okay thank you," I said.

I was taking a moment to ponder what she said and realized I just read a series written for 16 year olds and now I'm in search of a series written for 10 year olds and how someday I should probably start reading Big Girl books....and I must have looked lost because the librarian came over and asked if I needed help.

"Nope," I said. Which was kind of a lie. But the kind of help I need, she's probably not qualified to offer unless she has some sort of doctorate in something related to helping people who have a screw loose.

Plus, she works in the children's area at the library and she is super sweet and super helpful, but she's often suspiciously asking if I need help and it makes me feel like I'm some sort of creep-o for being in the children's area. And I'm not a creep-o! I'm just a slow reader!!!

Whatever - basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that if you're not doing anything tonight, you should read, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" by Jeff Kinney. I think you'll like it.

Winter

2012-01-18T12:02:00.001-06:00

Winter...it's growing on me. Of course, we've had a mild winter, so that helps.

I used to hate winter and dreaded the looooooooong gray days and bitter cold wind, but now I see its potential.

A few things I like about winter:

1) No allergies.
2) No fleas.
3) Hot drinks. Tea, hot chocolate, cider, coffee, and so on.
4) No lawn care (except for shoveling the sidewalk when it snows, which Mr. T does. I wouldn't mind it, but Mr. T always gets there first. I think it helps him feel more manly.)
5) Blankets of snow - lovely!
6) The quiet still that comes after a big snow storm.
7) Driving into big snow flakes as they swirl on the street in front of you and swish past the side of your car. I feel like I'm a Disney ride...like Space Mountain...best ride ever!
8) Basically, I like snow. "Snow! Snow! Snow! I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow."

A few things I don't like about winter:
1) Socks. I don't like wearing socks. Actually, I don't like putting on socks. Wearing them is fine.
2) Shortage of fresh fruits and veggies. This year, I'm going to start canning.
3) Refueling the car. (That's what Mr. T says.) I say "getting gas." I guess he's too sophisticated to say, "getting gas" because of what it implies. Anyway, I don't like to "get gas" when it's cold and windy outside.
4) Seeing animals that are outside in the cold all night.
5) Icy roads.

All in all, I'm glad to live in a place that has seasons.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

2012-01-17T13:20:00.001-06:00

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot was, in fact, a page turner.

Henrietta Lacks was a woman who has had a great impact on modern medicine and, for a long time, no one had ever heard of her. For years scientists had been trying to figure out a way to make cells reproduce, but try as they might, they couldn't find a way to make it happen. Not until they came across Henrietta's cells.

Henrietta had been suffering from cervical cancer. As was common practice then, doctors took a sample of her cancer cells and found the winning lottery ticket. Not only did Henrietta's cells reproduce themselves, but it's reported that if you could weigh the amount of reproduced cells, they would weigh more than 100 Empire State Buildings, which is amazing since a cell weighs practically nothing. Her cells have been used by science to do everything from help to create a polio vaccine to cloning.

What makes the book a page turner is how the author paints a holistic picture of what was going on in the world at the time. Skloot weaves together elements of culture, history, and science from a global perspective and binds them together is a lovely tapestry. You see how the earth, moon and stars aligned at the perfect time for science to make these great steps forward.

Skloot also gives a very personal account of what transpired with Henrietta's family over the years. As a warning to soft-hearted readers like myself, some of the events are not pretty and difficult to read through. It is, however, very enlightening to the times, past and present.

For the most part, I didn't feel like I was reading a science book or just another biography. I felt like my eyes were opened to the past and I saw a glimpse of history that I was previously blind to.

If you hate reading, don't worry. I think Oprah is planning to make a movie about Henrietta Lacks. Otherwise, if you're looking for a good book, I would recommend this one.

Next up - When Helping Hurts

Dream

2012-01-16T14:26:00.001-06:00

Last night I had a dream that Mr. T died. He was killing bad guys and he got all of them, but not before he was shot. He didn't look like Mr. T though. He looked like John Travolta, but he was Mr. T in my heart.

You know that scene in Top Gun where Goose's wife is crying after he died. That's the way I was in my dream. Then I woke up crying. And continued crying and crying until I told my dream to Mr. T and we both starting laughing.

After all, he looks nothing like John Travolta.

I hope tonight I have a dream of the John Travolta version of Mr. T doing the disco.

Getting Better

2012-01-13T12:38:00.000-06:00

Top 10 Ideas for Blog Improvement
1) Add pictures.
I'm really bad at taking pictures, but I have a strong interest in growing this skill in my life. However, photography has some pretty large start up costs so we'll see.

2) Get a better layout.
Like add a cool header and stuff.

3) Blog about the improvements we've made on the house.
We're done for the most part and if you'd seen it in its original state, you'd know what a miracle that is. I'm not sure its particularly blog worthy because there isn't much that's cool urban or hyper creative in the decor, but it's home.

4) Blog more about culinary feats/disasters.
Mostly disasters. Whenever I'm cooking I often picture myself on a new Food Network show called, "Bad Cook". It would document all the mistakes and mishaps that happen and would perhaps have to bleep out a few unsavory words spoken in the kitchen following said mishaps.

5) Blog more about the things God is teaching me.

6) Blog more about funny/interesting events that have happened in the past.

7) Continue blogging about book/movie reviews.

8) Continue blogging about my sweet family and friends.

9) Begin blogging about the people I meet. There are some wonderful/interesting/funny people that God has blessed me with the opportunity of knowing. I'd like for you to meet them as well.

10) Begin blogging about past, present, and future travels/events.

Most of the above describes countless blogs out there, so the ideas aren't very original but I'd still like to proceed.

And what about you?
Do you have any ideas for me?
I'd love to hear them.

P.S I should mention that I don't really do crafts.

P.P.S. Writing a blog is weird because it's like having a conversation but, for the most part, you don't know who you are talking to. So, to whomever is reading, I just wanted to say "thanks". This blog has helped me through a big transition in life and it's nice to know I'm not talking to myself.

Hope

2012-01-12T12:51:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the brokenness in the world.
It makes me thankful that this world is not my home.

I don't think I will see the brokenness be restored entirely in my lifetime, but I know the day is coming.

In our Sunday School class, Mr. T spoke beautifully about how we are in a war and how we are on the winning side. How God has been, is and will continue to take back what was once his. How the brokenness will be healed and people will be redeemed.

I can see it, even today. People fighting and making sacrifices to help make wrong things right.

For example...

People say, "How can God be good and still allow so much pain in the world?"

It's a tough question, but I know that God is bigger than that. He's bigger than our reasoning. His ways are higher than ours. He has a plan.

And he is powerful enough to turn our brokenness into something that brings him glory.

It dawned on me this morning...

the fact that we value our humanity more than our spirituality

and God cares more about our spirituality than our humanity.

Because he remembers something we often forget.

That it's our spirit that will live forever and that this world is not our home.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

When we emphasize our humanity in our hearts, things get confusing and it's hard to reconcile the pain in the world with God's goodness. But when you see the world for what it really is - temporary...and people for what they really are - eternal...it becomes much easier to understand God's great power and love and how, in fact, those two things never exist apart from one another.

I call it "hope".

The Hunger Games

2012-01-11T12:20:00.001-06:00

Mr. T and I have been reading The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. I ashamed to admit we like the books because a main plot line involves kids who run around and kill each other. Sounds terrible, I know. It is terrible, but they are total page turners. It's the popular series written for young adults and I think the first movie is coming out in March. What am I saying - I KNOW the first movie is coming out in March because I'm somewhat/entirely obsessed with them!

Unfortunately, Mr. T and I set our budget right before we got hooked on the series, meaning we've had to wait and get the books from the library. Needless to say, the person who has checked out the books before us does not pour through them as fast as we do. It's been a tedious task to patiently endure the long days without knowing how the story unfolds.

That is until yesterday when the blessed librarian finally called to say the last book was in. I felt like I had just won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. My heart leapt, my fingers reached for the phone in anticipation, I placed it to my ear just in time to hear the sweet and long anticipated words, "I'm calling to tell you that the book you had on hold, 'Mockingjay' is in. You have three days to pick it." Three days! Whatever! I said, "We'll be right there!!!" Breathlessly I called Mr. T to pass on the great and glorious news.

Everything was going so well, except I had to work in the evening. Mr. T said that he needed to work on his Sunday School lesson all night. So I figured it's no big deal, we can starting reading the book together later. (We often read the books side by side. Cheesy/romantic/awesome...I know.)

When I came home from work, I saw Mr. T had gone to his office to work on his lesson. He had taken Annie with him so she didn't have to stay in the house by herself all night. Cute, huh. He's a good dog dad. So, I thought it would be polite to hold fast to our previous agreement and not begin the book.

Mr. T came home.
He asked if I started the book.
"No, I was waiting for you" I said.
"Really" he said somewhat shocked and confused.

And do you know why he was so shocked. Because the stinker was hoping I would renege on the deal and start reading. Because that's exactly what he had done. All the way to Chapter 9!!!

So then we had a pretend fight over a book that was written for teenagers, which I'm going to read as soon as I finish this post.

Starting now...

Like I Said

2012-01-10T11:51:00.000-06:00

Annie is quirky.

Jordanne called last night from Kansas City to let me know that she was putting away her Christmas decorations and found a surprise. Inside one of the stockings was an old, brown, nasty sock that had come directly from its grave, buried deep in the houseplant. (Refer to yesterday's post.)
Jordanne blames me for this, but I have no recollection of it.

Kind of like that time when my brother and I were kids and my mom discovered that someone had written on the couch with a pen. My brother instantly denied it and I racked my brain trying to remember if I had done it or not. Since my brother was so adamant that he didn't do it, I naturally assumed that I must have and confessed that fact to my mother. I was grounded for a week while my brother carried on with his carefree life of playing with his friends, playing video games, watching TV and what have you.

He confessed later on that he was actually guilty and boy was my mom mad! He was grounded for two weeks for lying and then he proceeded to mouth off to my sweet, loving, nurturing mother (something I would NEVER do!) and ended up being grounded for a whole month. It was obvious that he was tempted to mouth off again and my mother stopped him and said, "you want to make TWO months!" That shut both of us up.

For you see, we did not get grounded back then the way kids get grounded today. We were grounded to our rooms! With NO TV! NO PHONE CALLS! NO NOTHING! We could read, listen to the radio (IF we were lucky), go to the bathroom and come out to eat meals. Kids today don't know anything about being grounded. They think being grounded means they are limited to 10 of their favorite video games instead of having access to all 50 of them. Why, when I was a kid we had to walk 5 miles to school, in the rain and the snow, uphill both ways...

Anyways...what was I saying?

Oh yea - so Jordanne blamed me for putting the nasty sock in the stocking and I don't remember doing it, which means that Annie probably did it (even though it was hanging on the mantel at the time and that would have been quite miraculous), but I'm still sticking to my story. I'm innocent.

Come to think of it, we did have a girl from Germany living with us at the time. Maybe she did it.
Either way, I'm innocent! Innocent I tell you!

Meet Annie

2012-01-09T12:51:00.002-06:00

Perhaps you've already met. If not, let me introduce you.

Annie is a little dog that showed up on our porch many years ago. We (my former roomies and I) were having our annual Elf party in December - an evening when friends from far and wide gather to watch Elf and eat candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.  Some guests were leaving the party and they returned saying, "you might want to come out here." Sitting on a pile of snow and ice was our little Annie, completely overgrown and scared to death. We took her in, cleaned her up, and made unsuccessful attempts to find her home.

After that, she became our dog. We named her Annie, after Orphan Annie. She's a dainty 8 pound, white, curly-haired, poodle-like pet who loves nothing more than unending amounts of human affection. And she's just about the quirkiest thing you've ever seen.

For example:

1) Annie used to take my roommates socks and bury them in the house plants. We would carry on and water the plants as normal, only to find a fossilized sock in there months later.

2) She's always leaving food in our bed. Always. It's rare to walk in my room and not find two or three pieces of her dog food sitting on top of the comforter.  Annie usually tries to nuzzle it onto a wrinkle in the fabric.  She'll work on it for quite a while, seemingly making very little progress and then all of a sudden she decides her food is sufficiently buried and moves on to her main task of vying for human affection. Keep in mind her food is no more buried than when she first placed it on the bed.

3) Annie is a very obnoxious combination of coward/bully. She does not care for other dogs. Can't stand bigger dogs. Will tolerate dogs her size, but doesn't like them.  Basically she becomes a huge snob. With bigger dogs, Annie will run up behind them and bark when their backs are turned. But as soon as the bigger dog turns to face her, she'll run and hide behind someones skirt. This makes my manly, marine husband crazy. "No dog in my house is going to pick fights with some dog twice her size only to run away like a coward!" Just kidding.  He never said that, but I can see him thinking it. When Annie is around smaller dogs, she is no better.  My parents have a dog named Maggie that is about Annie's size. I don't think I've ever seen this, but my parents tell me that every so often Maggie will just be standing around innocently and Annie will run up behind her and head butt her in the tush. How rude!

Mr. T is very good with his little ward, but she still has her quirks. I'm nervous that its reflective of my poor parenting skills, which is why I'm already praying now that none of our children will do any of the three aforementioned actions.

High Quality

2012-01-05T10:56:00.002-06:00

Below are a few things in life that are well worth the money.
After all, sometimes they DO "make 'em like they used to."
And sometimes they make 'em even better.

Thermos brand mugs. It's gotta be the Thermos brand. I've only seen them at Target and they are a little pricey - around the $25 mark. But they work great! They do not leak and your beverage will stay nice and hot for hours. It's simply mind-boggling.

Harvestland brand chicken. This is the closest I can find to healthy chicken in our grocery stores here. It's not organic, but it abides by USDA standards of:

*No Antibiotics Ever
*Fed All Vegetarian Diet
*No Animal By-Products
*Humanely Raised
*Raised Cage Free
And it does taste much better. If I don't get this chicken I always regret it because all the other chicken tastes like rubber in comparison. Plus, the other day I got a whole Harvestland chicken and cooked it in the crock pot (per suggestion of my delightful friend Darci) and it was yummy-licious. A little butter under the skin, olive oil on the outside, onion, rosemary and thyme in the cavity and wa-la! A whole chicken was much cheaper and it made about three meals. I'm a fan.

Oreck brand vacuum cleaners. I don't actually have one of these because we don't really have carpet in our house. Just some on the stairs and a rug here and there. So our vacuum is a cheap one from Wal-Mart that works just fine. Actually, I purchased another little one for $8 at a Black Friday sale that is also really cool and works a little better. Anyway, I used Oreck vacuums when I cleaned houses in college. They are my favorite and if I lived in a land of carpet, I wouldn't want anything else. They work well and are lightweight. I don't enjoy lugging vacuums around so "lightweight" is the main selling point. I don't think many Oreck vacuums have that hose part that comes off so you can get dirt in the corners. That's the biggest downside, I suppose.
We like hardwood floors, so I doubt I'll ever need a nice vacuum, but if we do Oreck is the way to go.

When An Orange And A Lemon Really Love Each Other

2012-01-04T15:46:00.001-06:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Wal-Mart. They really do have just about everything and it is pretty convenient. But it is often over crowded and for some reason there is an air of grumpiness about the place and the cashiers can be a little slow at times and the produce department isn't quite up to snuff.

Well, at least it didn't seem so when I first moved here. It seems better now. I think because I've forgotten what big city produce departments are like. Anyway, that doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is this:

The other day I picked up a box of Cuties (little oranges / easy to peel / you'll never go back to regular oranges) and went around the produce department to get the rest of the items I needed. I then spotted a bag of GIANT oranges that looked very yummy - as it has been some time since I thought to buy an actual, hard to peel orange since they have cuties now. You know how sometimes if oranges have really thick peels then they aren't as hard to manage...well, that's what I was thinking with these. So I skipped the Cuties and went with the oranges. And I was right. They are easy to peel.

They just aren't easy to eat.

I'm not exactly sure what happened.

I suspect it had something to do with love.
Like how Romeo and Juliet were from different circles and not supposed to get together.
I believe an orange (Rome-e-orange) and a lemon (Ju-lie-emon) met.
And there was winking, and eye batting, and sweet nothings whispered and all of a sudden a romance bloomed. And as you know, when an orange and a lemon really love each other, they make a baby.

And that baby ended up at the produce department in Wal-Mart where it got adopted by a sweet and innocent girl who took it home and decided to have it for a late night snack, only to discover her face beginning to contort into weird shapes, complete with a lip pucker that was in no way intended to be flirtatious to her husband who was not even remotely interested even if it was flirtatious because the face contortions made her slightly less desirable, but all together funny - and that's when she realized that she just adopted the world's biggest lemon!

Not really, but it's the sourest orange ever!!!

I have a whole bag at my house that I doubt I'll be able to eat, so come over and try one for yourself.